Assimilate: a Pokemon Fanfic
by SuzanneDunsparce
Summary: Hilda meets with N, who is then ambushed by his 13 doppelgangers, who refer to themselves as the Alphabet. I have no idea how it fits in with the timeline or anything like that. Expect weirdness. It probably doesn't fit with the canon at all. Coincidentally, this is my first fanfiction, but there is a first time for everything.
1. Chapter 1

Chapter I: The Two Dragons

Hilda looked to the sky. She did not understand why Zekrom had taken her to this grove, but when a legendary being with the power to create an entire region decides to go globetrotting, you usually humor it, even if you are the one who is meant to be in charge. This was a flat grassy gap a little off the new Victory Road, accessible only to Pokémon of exceptional flying or climbing ability, or alternatively those with unmatched determination. Zekrom seemed to be waiting for something, and was quite content to wait, so Hilda resigned herself to waiting with him. She let her other Pokémon out of their pokéballs. It was a nice spot, so she didn't see why they shouldn't enjoy it along with her and Zekrom. In the distance, she heard wing beats. Something large was coming this way.

Reshiram descended on the grove. It sensed its other half, Zekrom. She knew that N desired to know the fate of the hero, and that Zekrom would show them.

"You said you would show me a surprise," said N. "Is it a good surprise?"

"If it were a bad one, would I take you towards it?" replied Reshiram.

"You wouldn't," acknowledged N. From his vantage point riding Reshiram, N could see for miles. Still unsure of the nature of this sojourn, he clung to Reshiram's back. As far as he could tell, this was near the new Victory Road. He did not understand what was wrong with the old one. There was nothing wrong with it, as far as he could tell. At least the Durants and Rufflets in the area would no longer need to put up with humans trampling all over their territory. Durants were like sand, he reflected. Whether you liked it or not, they got in everywhere. Now Reshiram was going down into this grove. Beneath them N could see some Pokémon and a human, but their identities were unknown to him. Reshiram landed and N dismounted. He recognized his company immediately.

"Hilda!" he called out.

"Oh, hi Mr Initial," replied Hilda. "I guess you're still all, save the wailords and stuff. Thing is, Zekrom was flipping out, and then I asked him to show me what was wrong, and he took me here." N raised an eyebrow. Mr Initial. Save the wailords. Flipping out. Hilda had a very different style of speech to him, but if it worked, it worked.

"Reshiram did something similar," N explained. "I think the legendary Pokémon were trying to get us to meet."

"Well, if they did, it's mission accomplished for them," replied Hilda. "I've been searching for you for a while, but then I kinda gave up for a while. Discovered a mystical land beyond the sea called France, was extra in Timegate Traveler 2, you know the drill. Just general stuff."

"Timegate Traveler 2?" asked N, his curiosity aroused. "That was the first movie I ever saw at the cinema. It was the one where Pokémon keep humans in balls and use them to fight instead of the other way round, wasn't it?" Hilda almost made a comment about N only having just seen a film at the cinema and having a deprived childhood, then remembered that the latter part of this thought was true.

"I searched for you all these years," whispered Hilda, but loud enough for N to hear. "And now that I've found you, I have nothing to say." Any further comment was interrupted by an absol that had approached. The absol called out and paced up and down, unnerved by an unseen danger. Seeing one of their number behaving in this manner, Hilda's Pokémon moved up and down the grove, attempting to seek the unknown danger.

"What's wrong with them?" asked Hilda. Absols could predict danger, so when one acted like this, it was nothing to be sneezed at. N approached the absol, and attempted to calm it down. The absol whispered something to N in the language of its own kind, and N returned his attention to Hilda.

"Absol says they're coming," he told her.

"Who are coming?" asked Hilda.

"I don't know."


	2. Chapter 2

Chapter II: Alphabetical

All around them, the shrubbery rustled. Finally, a boy identical in appearance to N appeared, followed by another, and another, until there were thirteen in all.

"We are A through to M. The Alphabet must be complete!" they announced.

"Whuh?" Neither N nor Hilda could formulate a suitable reply.

"We are the alphabet! You have no identity! You must be assimilated into the Alphabet!" chanted the doppelgangers.

"I have an identity! I'm N, the hero of truth!" replied N.

"There is no N," ascertained the doppelgangers. "Only the Alphabet."

"This is insane," muttered Hilda. "All of you," she told her Pokémon. "Back in your pokéballs. Zekrom, fly us out of here." All of her Pokémon obeyed. Hilda leapt onto Zekrom, who took off effortlessly. N followed suit, riding his own legendary dragon into the sky. Hovering above the grove, N and Hilda peered down onto the doppelgangers. Beneath them, the doppelgangers met directly under N and began to build a human pyramid. Zekrom looked down on the lookalikes, and growled angrily.

"Zekrom wants to fight on them, but he also wants your permission first," N told Hilda.

"Do you think it would kill them?" Hilda asked him.

"Probably not," informed N.

"Then by all means, Zekrom," said Hilda. "Blast them into next week!" Lightning snarled and bit down on the doppelgangers as a small sliver of Zekrom's full power was released. The human pyramid was shattered as the electric attack blasted the doppelgangers. They were cast about and around like bowling pins. It seemed the lookalikes were done. But they were not. They picked themselves up, brushed themselves down, and began to reform the human pyramid.

"They obviously aren't the sharpest tolls in the shed," Hilda thought aloud. "But you'd think they'd come to the conclusion that this is a bad idea. Seriously though, the least they could do is try something else."

"Maybe they don't know anything else," suggested N. If he was going to say anything more, it was cut off. They doppelgangers had built the pyramid far faster than before, and now one of them on the top. In its hand it held something. It looked like a pokéballs, but there was something different. The doppelganger cast the pokéballs upwards, and Reshiram, despite a roar of disapproval, was sucked inside. Now without anything supporting him, N fell to the ground. He groaned, and looked up at the perpetrator.

"You have me," he told them. "But what will you do now?"

"We shall find O through to Z," replied the doppelgangers in synchrony, as though this was perfectly obvious.

"And then what?" N asked. "Do you have a grand master plan?"

"Yes. Yes we do," affirmed the doppelgangers. "We will take over the world."

"If I had a nickel for every time I heard someone say that…" muttered Hilda. She took out her Xtransiever. "Is that you, Ash? It's me, Hilda. Hero of Ideals. Ring a bell? …You might say we have a situation."


	3. Chapter 3

Chapter III: Guess Who

A pidgeotto supplied an appropriate means of transport. That was HM02 for you. It didn't matter the size of the pokémon; it could still carry you and your fellow human.

Ash Ketchum had seen and heard many things, but what Hilda had described went beyond anything he had ever heard of. Perhaps he should have gone with Misty and Brock on that doomed moneymaking venture after all. It sounded far safer. Finally he reached the grove Hilda had described. At the edge of the new Victory Road nearby, Hilda and Zekrom waited, attracting his attention with a combination of sparks and waving.

"No time for details and small talk. You remember N," Hilda asked Ash on his arrival.

"Yes," he replied. "Why?"

"He's been kidnapped by his own lookalikes," Hilda told him. "They built a human pyramid and caught Reshiram with a special pokéball."

"It sounds a bit farfetched, but I'll take your word for it," said Ash. "What do we do about it?"

"I don't know," admitted Hilda. "But that's why I called you." There was a moment of silence in the uncertainty.

"Perhaps we should start by looking at what they're doing," suggested Ash. This seemed a good idea.

Investigations demonstrated that the doppelgangers, who still looked a little beat-up after Zekrom's attack, had tied N up, and were now giving him a personality quiz.

"Grass, Water, or Fire?" asked one Doppelganger, who by the writing on the back of his shirt was H.

"Fire," replied N, his voice no longer possessing luster. He had resigned to his fate.

"They are trying to break his spirit through a series of cruel and unusual punishments!" cried Hilda in alarm.

"With a personality quiz?" asked Ash in surprise. "They're not cruel or unusual."

"They're exceptionally boring and have no real bearing on anything," said Hilda. "In this purpose, they are the ultimate." Ash did not reply.

"Deerling, Boldore, Shelmet, Durant, help!" called out N desperately. Out of the shadows came the pokemon he had called. Durants swarmed up the legs of M, and H was tackled by a Boldore. D was at first unsure of how to react when a deerling challenged him, and but his question was answered when it jump-kicked him. A, F, and L were surrounded by shelmet, the carapace clad bug-types of no remorse. Nearby, the modified pokéballs quivered as Reshiram fought to escape. The members of the Alphabet who were not being attacked by Pokémon panicked, as they might be about to join the ones who were.

The doppelgangers fled before N's army. Ash and Hilda descended on the scene. Hilda quickly untied N's bonds, and Ash stood back. When it came to knots, too many cooks spoilt the broth.

"What did they do to you?" asked Hilda concernedly.

"First, E accidently sat on me, then they tried to get me to submit to the Alphabet, that's what they call themselves," explained N. "Then K recited, Ode to a Small Lump of Green Putty I found Under my Armpit One Morning, and then H gave me a personality quiz."

"The Ode…" breathed Hilda. "These people are pure evil." Clearly the Alphabet heard this, as once again they entered the grove, regardless of the consequences.


	4. Chapter 4

Chapter IV: Babysitting

Misty was not happy. First they ran out of cash. That Ash managed to come up with a solution was good, but they had completely screwed up the implementation. Becoming Pokémon babysitters sounded like a good idea in theory, but for their first customer, they had received an over excitable ditto. First it transformed into all kinds of things, and now it had run away. It was Brock's fault really. He had taken it to the short film festival. Some of the things there could have left it scarred for life. Timegate Traveler 2 indeed. It had been that film. It had given that poor woman's ditto ideas. Chances were it was raising an army and plotting to take over the world as they spoke. She would chew out Brock afterwards. Right now, they needed to work together.

"So you're quite sure it went this way?" Brock asked a trainer they had encountered.

"Yes," replied the trainer. "It turned into a chap with green hair and went into those bushes."

"Thanks for the help," said Misty, and the pair descended into the shrubbery.

Before long, Misty and Brock found the grove now hosting Hilda, Ash, and N.

"Look, there he is," called out Misty. "Alpha, come here!" Hilda, Ash, and N looked around, trying to work out who Alpha was. Before anyone could stop this situation from occurring, N was soon trying and failing to fend off a very determined Brock.

"Everyone, calm down!" called out Ash. "That's N, not Alpha!"

"What proof do you have?" asked Misty. "You've seen Alpha in action. You know how convincing he is."

"You could ask them," suggested N, gesturing at A through to M.

"That's a lot of Ns," said Brock, stating the obvious.

"There is no N, only the alphabet," chorused A through to M.

"Alpha, I want to you to call this off right now," ordered Misty.

"Why should I?" asked A, who had stepped forward. There was a pause. It continued.

"Because we'll tell your mom!" called out Ash unexpectedly. At this prospect, A paled. His form shimmered and he returned to his usual form. A was in fact Alpha the ditto. B through to M followed suit, and scattered into the long grass. It seemed that they too were dittos.

"Well that was weird," said Hilda. There were murmurs of agreement as those involved went their separate ways. Hilda noticed that Brock seemed very nervous, and that Misty was muttering under her breath about a short film festival. Ash searched his pockets and did not find what he was looking for. N had released Reshiram from the modified pokéballs. All was the best you could expect from the situation. But really, that was weirdest thing that had happened to Hilda in years.


End file.
